What if the real driver of behaviour, attendance, engagement – and staff retention – isn’t rules, rewards, or even belonging… but mattering?
I recently reconnected with the amazing Tara Elie – educator, behaviour specialist, and positive psychology practitioner – and earlier this week we got together to explore the powerful but often overlooked psychology of mattering: the feeling that you are valued and that you add value.
Drawing on Tara’s Master’s research, coaching work with schools, and lived experience as a teacher, the conversation reframes some of education’s biggest challenges through a powerful human lens.
Together, we explore:
Why belonging is not the starting point, but an outcome of something deeper
How low staff and student mattering shows up as disengagement, burnout, behaviour issues and poor attendance
The two-part psychology of mattering – feeling valued and adding value – and how imbalance leads to compromised wellbeing
Why many behaviour systems unintentionally communicate ‘you don’t add value’
How mattering connects to agency, resilience, engagement, meaning and purpose
What psychologically safe schools do differently – for adults and young people
Practical ways leaders can audit mattering in their schools without adding workload
This episode is especially relevant for:
Senior leaders responsible for behaviour, relationships or attendance
School leaders concerned about staff wellbeing and retention
Anyone frustrated by surface-level fixes to deep, systemic issues
If you’ve ever felt that schools are chasing the wrong outcomes – or that something vital is missing from the behaviour conversation – this episode offers a language, a framework, and a hopeful way forward.
‘Belonging isn’t something you can chase. It’s what happens when people genuinely matter.’
If you’re interested in taking these ideas further, Tara and I are currently recruiting for REBOOTING BEHAVIOUR 2026.
It’s aimed at headteachers and senior leaders who want to rethink their approach to school behaviour. If you’re not a headteacher, feel free to nudge this post in the direction of your local school!
Places are limited - click below for details…
